Foreign at home?

    I've been home for awhile, but my pursuit to learn new things has not stopped. During my time at home I've gotten better at critically analyzing what I do. I've once again resumed trying to learn Hindi and in fact am studying some classical Indian dance forms (Bharatanatyam and Odissi).

   With the studying of these classical dance forms I've gotten closer to the Indian community that lives in my area. Which to my great pleasure has been all positive and I always get a warm welcome. It seems a little backwards to say I was expecting a little apprehension or being kept at an arms distance because I am not Indian myself, but as a mixed person I found that is what has happened trying to interact with people my own age from other cultures. Maybe it was the fact that it was during college so we are not the most sensitive to other people's feelings, but I always got rejected and felt like I was inferior because I was either American or did not posses dark skin. It has been the exact opposite when I've interacted with either my fellow classmates or the parents of the children from other classes. They have been happy to welcome me into their lives and help teach me the culture. If they are speaking in their native language, they will stop if it is not a private matter to include me in the conversation with a quick translation and I always appreciate it, this is why I want to increase my Hindi skills so at least I can have some words I can pick out even if they are not speaking Hindi (I do understand there are more languages in India than just Hindi and I'm hoping to also pick up Tamil).

    On the other hand I've also started teaching Bollywood choreography classes which gives me performance opportunities. This is a problem in the idea that during these performance opportunities I might be representing the Indian culture (which is way more than Bollywood) and it worries me that I might not be doing a good job. It isn't my culture and representing it to the general public worries me just like I am always worried when I see people representing to my culture to the world. So I only try and discuss the things I am educated in like the mudras and the translation of the songs I am dancing to.

I think through my education I will keep reflecting on this and perhaps come up with an answer.

Me Worried

So I put this off for awhile not sure whether or not to post this, but I think that now that I'm far enough away from the situation it will be okay.


 So as my scheduled time draws closer to an end and I debate whether to come back I go over my time here. It has been an interesting adventure and I have grown amazingly with it, but there have been some rude awakenings that I'm not sure where they came from.

•  Co-workers are your friends - now as any normal person who is moving to a foreign country to do anything I expected the people in my program to be my friends on some level or at least be people I could hang out with occasionally. I wasn't expecting us to braid each others hair while having girl talks into the wee hours of the morning or even walk to school together with, but I at least expected people I could talk to. Now don't get me wrong they seem like decent people....as long as you aren't me. I have apparently done something at some point that has offended all of them (except for the new people) and my presence is all together ignored or they will loudly plan their weekends excitement in front of me. Now I have relatively thick skin because after middle school I have never been a popular kid, but what worries me is this is now extending to the new people who like to ask me questions or are just in general nice people who want to know how things are going.

• New people are helped and shown the ins and outs - For me this was true on my first night and then after that I was lucky to get a hello from most of my foreign co-workers. The worst part is I've noticed a steady decline in the quality welcome, from when it was just well me and one other person going to welcome the new person, two co-workers said they had made plans to make crepes that couldn't be rescheduled, to the full blown dinner spectacle I got, but it wasn't a helpful one it was a "I want to see what you are made of" dinner. I was talking to a recent arrival and was appalled (and so were her friends in Korea and back home) to find out no one had given them subway cards or even shown them where the effing subway was. I was shocked and appalled at the welcome she got and now they proceed to give them a level of the cold shoulder because apparently she has done something wrong as well.

• There is a level of common decency - This sounds rude, but I feel like there really isn't a sense of privacy or you shouldn't do that. Honestly I wish that my coworkers would realize our students and children in general are much smarter than you think they are so please stop dropping curse words or speaking rudely about them right in front of them. Or at least please don't loudly tell others about your drunken escapades you had either that weekend or the night previously and PLEASE FOR THE LOVE THAT ALL THAT IS DECENT DO NOT loudly laugh about how another co-worker is hung over in front of the academic supervisor. For this part I don't care if I come off as a prude, there needs to be some level of professionalism at work when all that separates you from your students is a single unlocked door that sometimes isn't even closed.

• There are rules - I feel like it is actually "There are rules that some people have to follow" and the people who don't have to follow them are pretty and skinny while the rest of us get the backlash from everything else. I find that if I came to work and exclaimed how hung over I was or swore at a student I would be punished immediately. If I slept through one of my classes and someone had to come get me I would be punished. Apparently not for the pretty people or the people who are in the clique. I find few reasons that I come to work, besides the children and that saddens me that I don't enjoy my job more. 

Foreigner not so foreign?

 After leaving my company, it was a semi friendly parting, I've come to reflect on my time abroad and see what lessons I've learned. There are many little lessons like the satisfaction of supporting yourself and the important ones of what I can endure as a person. Here are just a few key ones:

1. If need be I can work in a hostile environment - By the time I had left my company only two of the foreign teachers still talked to me because from what I can tell (and what my Korean co-teacher suspected) was I wasn't a black-out drunk party goer like them. I found the I could handle being ignored by my co-workers and keep going, I just needed an outside social outlet be it texting friends from all over via the most convenient app kakaotalk or picking up outside hobbies like hiking and belly dance. If you have an outlet you can overcome these things, but you should never stay in these situations unless you must.
2. Take joy in the little things - When you take in #1 it makes life easier to take joy in your students success like it really was your own, to enjoy the weather even when it isn't prettier, and just be thankful for what you have. It is something I'm taking with me for what I hope is the rest of my life and just be thankful for what my body can do and sometimes even taking joy in what you can't do. Having this outlook has definitely made my life better.
3. Hard-work isn't always appreciated, but do it anyway - I find that people in my generation (this is a generalization and I know it does not apply to everyone) are used to getting praised for doing what they were supposed to. When I had a student work job my fellow student employees expected to be patted on the back for doing what their basic job was, while when I took on extra responsibility I only expected it when I was doing a lot extra. Working in a school I realized that half the time you aren't going to be appreciated unless you do something unusual on a sometimes what you get appreciated for is disturbing, like offering to go half on a reward for a shared class or turning in your graded tests within two days of having your students take it. So when you can show your appreciation for the little things, especially the little things you want repeated.
4. Always take the early pay discount - This is something you learn more about this if you take accounting (which I currently am) and it always pays to pay and get the discount. Korea is big on pay by this date and you get this amount, pay by this other date and you pay more. If you are paying by the first date and avoiding the inflated rate then....you'll save a lot of money. Over time if this is occurring on all your monthly bills (3-4 on average) you could save at least $500 a year by paying early.

 This is all I can think of for now, maybe I'll convert this blog into more about what I'm doing post Korea.

Foreigner.....burnt out?

 Ah the dreaded burn out that comes with living. I would really be interested in meeting someone who has never experienced a burn out for at least one day regarding one thing, and even burning out on ice cream because you just a whole tub counts. It just comes with having the daily grind of living in a situation that you aren't completely in control of.

  Since burn out is a common occurrence in daily life no one should begrudge you getting a little burnt out at work right? Well most of the times I would say yes, because we are all entitled to our bad days at work and would just really have rather called it in sick. I've felt it, your parents have probably felt it, and probably your grandparents even had it. The problem is when people burn out a little bit to early. Now I'm not saying that there should be a set date when you can officially burn out, but please try and not do it in your first month working. That isn't a joking date, I have personally witnessed a co-worker burn out within their first month of working at our company and I just had to shake my head at it.

The question is how to see if you are burning out and what you can do about it if you are

Signs and Symptoms: To tell if you're burning out at work ask yourself these simple questions

• Would I rather be getting teeth pulled than walking through that door?
• Does any little task you are given make you want to turn and punch the nearest person because they should be happy you showed up?
• Are you barely making it into work "on time" or showing up in less than professional condition (a little tipsy from the night before?)
• Have you started a count down till you get the next job? (this only applies if you are like many ESL teachers and are on a yearly contract)
• Do you try and do as far under the bare minimum as you can to conserve effort?

If you've answered more than one of these questions with a yes, than you are either burnt out or rapidly heading there.

Prevention: This is the super tough part, but the number one thing I can tell you is have a life outside of work. If your whole life is centered around it you will burn out faster than you can blink. So before you go hopping off to your new job (this is mainly regarding going abroad for jobs) really research where you are going. Don't just jump into the first job that will give you some sort of money. Here are things you should look out for

• How friendly is the work environment - Whether you plan on being bffs with these people or not if you go abroad to work sometimes these are the only native speakers you will see for awhile and it can get lonely if you are surrounded by douches.
• Is there a change for outside of work socializing - Check your schedule and see just how much down time you are going to have. Not enough and you get burnt out waiting for the weekends and they are never enough. Too much down time and you are in the same boat.
• Can you pick up a hobby? - Hobbies are important when you have a job because they are your escape from it and it gives you something to look forward to at the end of a long day.

These are only a few suggestions which either would have been nice to know before I went abroad or have kept me going. I mean I felt very mixed writing this because some people realize right away even their first day that their experience abroad isn't for them and I don't want to judge them for at least realizing this quickly. The point of this post was to realize when you are burning out and turning into a negative person and to do something about it!

Foreigner Smash!

 While in a foreign country three approaches can be taken

• F*** that culture I'm from the best country in the world (this is not limited to Americans)
• I'm in love with this culture I want to be this nationality
• Don't mind me just passing through

I've seen all of these approaches and let me tell you they all make you friends and they also come with enemies.

F*** that culture approach: This is often seen from the fresh out of college crew who get the easy to come by jobs in Asia (Currently this is the ROK's problem) and they haven't really put any investment to learn about where they are going. They go with the stereotypes they were brought up on and not much else. 

                   Pros: These types are great people being the loud spoken jokers who don't really care what the locals think of them when they are having a good time. They are usually pretty good when you are feeling grumpy and just hate where you are because chances are they hate it too. They like to explore the touristy places and take fun pictures and party hard into the night with some drinking as a bonus.

                    Cons: The downside of this fun loving bunch is that they are often immature and not grown up. As stated before they DO NOT care what the locals think and if you want to take the other approaches being associated with them could cause problems. At work you may see some unprofessional behavior that upsets you. Being immature they can be gossips and drama llamas and let's face it if you have your own problems, do you really need them making more?

I'm in love with this culture I want to be this nationality: Ah the people who have fallen in love with a culture, often do to the public face they show outsiders and has never actually been there. They go by many names in different social groups and regional places, but we all know them and have our own takes.

                Pros:Usually these are the best people to go to for language study help or etiquette tips just in case you don't want to inadvertently offend your co-workers or the population in general. They can be great friends with the catch of being an introvert, but hey sometimes introverts are the best kind of friends.

                 Cons: They are almost obsessed with the culture and often times are obsessed with getting with the natives. So if you befriend them expect to be included on this get a native significant other quest and it is not always pretty. The country of their obsession can do nothing wrong, it could be killing babies in the street and they would say "Hey it is their culture" (that was an over dramatization btw). So your gonna have to stomach a lot to hang out with them.

Don't mind me just passing through: I feel like these people make up the bulk of the work force because they've come here for a job and not necessarily the love of a country. I find myself currently in the category so I feel like I can't really rate the pros and cons of them objectively. I will say that language learning is not always at the top of our list, but we will give it the college try to make our time easier. While we try not to blatantly offend the natives, we can't be expected to know every little gesture to make in every situation to keep things agreeable.

Anything to add? Feel free and I will edit these to include input.

 

Foreigner Down!!!

Unless you are made of sunshine and rainbows you are bound to get sick while abroad. Odds are it will be within the first week, especially if the place you are moving to is vastly different in cuisine or climate than your home country. Don't worry it is usually just a mild to bad case of food poisoning.

After the first week the fun begins, and how much fun all depends on how you got to your foreign country of choice.

1. Study Abroad - This one can be tricky because it covers the rainbow spectrum of fun because of all the variety we have in study abroad programs. It also depends on how lucky you get with your program. My personal experience with study abroad was all across the rainbow. After declaring myself sick and asking for help I was sent to a nurse.....who did not speak English, instead she had a chart of English diseases or symptoms with the Japanese counterpart. After much hyming and hawing I was told to go to a clinic where the first time my university was kind enough to drive me (it was ~40 minute bus ride alternatively) and all was slightly well. For the follow-up visit, I was told to get there myself and I would not be provided with a translator, instead I got to try and hijack any Japanese student who was walking by. Not so fun and not so helpful because the odds of them knowing medical terms turns out to be very low. 
2. Work - Again this is a rainbow runner, because it all depends on how great your company is. For company mandated things, you will get an escort and a translator I mostly guarantee that because you have to do that to be able to work there. When it is not work related and you just managed to hurt yourself or get sick....that is where the fun begins. At one point during my job my tonsils were so swollen that I couldn't eat solid food and drinking was painful enough to make me cry. I had a high fever and was extremely tired and dizzy (probably lack of food and dehydration) I came into work not knowing what to expect, they told me not to work and see a doctor. That was the good part, they then proceeded to tell me to walk to the hospital (~20 minutes away when you are healthy and walking at a decent pace) or I could go to the clinic across the street. The clinic across the street doesn't sound so bad right? Well they didn't know where it was in the building and this building had 11 floors and no one would go with me. I ended up getting lost and ending up in a chiropractor's office and it turns out I had herniated one of my lumbar as well. I have also twisted my ankle, and been given the look like I was complaining about a paper cut when I had to use a computer chair to wheel myself about and refused assistance in getting crutches. So yes it runs the rainbow.
3. Marriage - I have no idea on this one, if someone would like to tell me I'm all ears. I would assume you'd get treated better than #1 and #2 because you have someone who loves you.
4. Traveling - I would assume you are just screwed in this department because well, no one has a financial investment in you (#2), no one will be in trouble if you die (all the above) unless you are traveling with a company, and you really are just relying on the kindness of strangers if you don't know the language on a fairly high level of comprehension.

I think that covers the main reasons for traveling. I will say that improving your diet will definitely aid in preventing illness. If you want avoid street food, in certain countries it doesn't really matter, same with the tap water. Feel free to add personal experience and advice.

Being an ESL Teacher

Being an English Teacher, well more specifically being a ESL teacher in a foreign country, is never easy. There is first the language barrier to jump over, I'm currently working in ROK, better know as South Korea. I being the smart college graduate I was picked a country that I didn't even know the language of to spend my first year of independence in. Due to my personal choices I had more hurdles to jump over than I should have and mainly I am only to blame.

     The main thing I'm focusing on right now is language. Now apparently I did an unusual thing for many of the ESL teachers who come to Korea and I actually decided to learn a little Korean before I came to live.....in Korea. Now I will stop and say this is a generalization, I'm sure that there are plenty of people out and about who have taught themselves a huge amount of Korean and can carry on conversations with natives. For my current situation when I arrived I was on of the 4/10 teachers who could read Korean. I'm including the teacher I replaced, who had been in Korea an entire year. If you will join me in a moment in stepping back and thinking "how could I live a whole year in a place and not be able to read 80% of things in my daily life...." I am a language major so it took me only 2 hours to learn how to read the Korean alphabet. In the entire year this teacher and many of my co-workers were here, they did not learn the alphabet.

 So yes score one point for me (commences in some patting myself on the back), but I have also unfortunately kinda stopped learning Korean there, I think I have maybe 20 words in my toolbox for Korea and I've been here 7 months (now hangs head in shame) I feel if I put an conscious effort into this process I would have learned at least 500 words by now. I would also argue how can I be this old and still have a rather shaky grasp of English grammar. I digress, not knowing a lot of Korean can make teaching more difficult and at the same time easier. Students cannot unfortunately express many ideas to me, at times I'm glad when it involves them wanting me to help them wipe their butts (more on this later), but then I cannot understand them if they are insulting me. The later point I find a blessing and a curse because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be as nice to these children if they actually were insulting me in Korean.....opposed to the other teachers which they insult in English. The butt wiping part comes in because I occasionally teach children who are Korean age 5....now wait what do I mean Korean age 5? There is this magical thing in cultures who follow the lunar calendar where you get to add one year based on the time in the womb....yeah scream now you are older than you are, but that makes these kids western age 3.5, so it is understandable that they want me to help them with basic tasks. I'm pretty sure I've actually learned the Korean word for poo...and I choose to ignore this fact.

 When I leave work though I get to experience what I just put these children through, where I am the beginner trying to express my wants to the masses of Korea, and half the time it breaks down to me showing them a word on my phone's dictionary, thank whoever for smart phones, or miming what I want....I was never good at charades as a child, I would like to think I'm pretty good at it now. So finding food, ordering food, shopping for things...becomes a trial in itself, but it can be grand.

 Sometimes the language barrier is fun.....sometimes it isn't.